Focus on Fact - True Landlady Phone Messages

Sociable Lover at Dartford

Wallpaper on the Isle of Wight and Mustique Bunting
at Saul's House

Parula at Tesco's
[didn't life later imitate art, with some megatick US warbler found outside a Tesco's?]

Bonaparte's Skull in Devon

Can I have the rent please?

Announcements

Opinions expressed in this feature are necessarily  those of Not BB.

Change in the procedure for the submission of rarities to NBBRC
In recent years, the committee has received increasing numbers of dubious records from observers it has never heard of before. Readers may have noticed that a new method of screening has in fact been on trial for the last two years. The success of this system means that in future, the committee requires all records to be accompanied by a description from a reliable observer.

As an example of the sort of thing required, an extract from the forthcoming report on Rare Birds in Great Britain is shown below:

Ring-billed Gull Larus featherwerensis Glamorgan, West, Blackpill 1 adult, 2nd March Tom Jones, Owen M L Evans.
Needle-tailed Swift Apus turbo Shetland, Quendale, 1, 25th May, LGR McEwans, A Brune, Andy Stewart.
Woodchat Shrike Audio quatro Dorset, Portland, 1 female, 25th May, R Lake, LGR Emmerson, D Palmer.
Lapland Bunting Calcareous santaclaus Norfolk, Burnham Norton, 1, 1st Dec, L Good-Heavens, LGR Von Erwin, GDJ Missingbird.

News and Comment

Yesterday in Parliament
In a lively debate in the House of Commons yesterday, many MPs expressed concern over the increasing numbes of eastern long-range vagrants - a disparity which they suggested could only increase East-West tension. "It's not as though we could get a Linnet as far as the Kremlin, while those damn Yellow-browed spenetrate our airspace from deep in the Russian hinterland," complained the Rt Hon Gerald Flatulent, Tory MP for Dormerville South.

Meanwhile, jeering Labour MPs demanded, "What about the Blackpolls and White-rumpeds?"

However, Defence Minister John Cruise-Missile reported a Russian diplomat as having remarked that, "If you want parity, you'd be better off trying to increase the Briish vagrant capability by screwing your environment some more, comrade>" The government has promised to do its best.

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We are out there working for us

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Oiled auk briquettes come in various grades. For that roaring winter fire, use Razorbill grade, and for summer parties add af few Puffins. Try Little Auks as a handy alternative to candles, while Tysties are ideal for barbecues.

Forthcoming TV and radio programmes

Friday 8.30 BBC1 - In at the Deep End with Chris Duck
This week, Chris tires his hand at being editor of a bird magazine, something he has never tried before and for which he has no particular aptitude. What a valiant attempt, and certainly highly amusing for the viewers. It has to be said that Mr Dawn has certainly got guts. Next week, Chris has a go at brain surgery.

 Saturday 7.15 Radio 4 - Desert Island Birds
The venerable Shamrock presents other hour of fatuous backslapping, in which one of Britain's top spotters tells which ten species he would like to join him on a desolate lump of rock somewhere off the southwest coast of Ireland. The guest is also allowed to choose one luxury item, but not BIS membership like last month's guest.

Monday 9.30 Chanel No. 4 - Nightmare on Elmley Marsh, Part II

Wednesday 8.00 ITV - The String 

A book at bedtime, Radio 4 - Not a Life More Not a Lifer Less