Not BB ii

"Avocets always give me a sore throat"

Oriental Bores Club

....and then the first Oriental White Storks started to come through as the pressure started to rise and in the end we recorded 2,729 that's over twice the known world population you know, you did, oh, then the crane passage started just like Hemmingsen said in his paper and we saw six species with 192 Sibes they're magic and 497 Japs that's equal to the Chinese wintering population, Beidaihe is just the end, did I mention the 500 Great Bustards, the Relict Gulls, the Rubythroats, the Needle-tails, the awfuld food, the shield bugs and did I tell you about the time I was crapped on by an Upland Buzzard.... Are you listening?

Not BB Cut-out and Keep Guide to Conservation Organisations

With so many do-gooder conservation organisations about these days, it is difficult to know who does what and whether it is worth buing shares in them. Just what do you get for your money? To remedy this lack of information, we have compiled the following comprehensive summary:

British Trust for Old and Decrepit Birders Best known for their distribution maps of old people's homes, they are currently planning to build a major orthopaedic day centre in Tring. Also famous for their unrivalled selection of Dave Gillmor Christmas cards.

Codpeace Attractive posters of cuddly winter wear are theri trademark. Runners-up in the 1986 North Atlantic small boat handling competition.

Merseyside Broadcasting Corporation Purveyors of fine eyries and setts to the great British public - they have a right to know!

National Thrust Suppliers of ancient beech woodlands to the M.o.D. Responsible for preserving Peacocks in a series of stately home gardens throughout the country.

Norfolk Natural Investment Trust One fo the best performers in the City. Its chain of coastal carparks continues to be a major source of revenue, and the cause of the recent spate of unsuccessful takeover bids. Pre-tax profits for the first quarter were up by £7.4 million.

Not the Other Association Definitely not the NNT.
(Didn't something rare breed there this year? Eds.)

Royal Suppliers of Porcelain Blue Tits In recent years, has carved out an enviable reputation for being the leading supplier of merchandise with Kingfishers on. Its sales of 2.4 million tonnes of Osprey toiletries alone exceeds the Albanian GNP. The president is an Avocet with adeer stalker hat. (What about the Robins?; we should be told. Eds.)

Tameduck Trust Has made a significant contribution to the British list. As we go to press, two offerings are under consideration by the Not BB Rarities Committee.

World Panda Fund Producer of 90 percent of the world's supply of cuddly Panda toys. Welll known for its services to rich unemployed bloodsports enthusiasts. (I say, steady on there - what about my knighthood? Eds.)